Behind Enemy Lines

Owen Wilson is the hometown boy who made good around these parts. Well, him along with brothers Luke and Andrew. They seem like good people. For sure they’re funny. Owen’s the writing partner of Wes Anderson and together they’ve crafted three of the finest comedies of recent memory. They made a splash with the indie […]

Black Christmas

As the story goes, some freakazoid clambers into the attic of a sorority house and commences to offing gals just in time for the holidays. It’s pretty much old hat these days, but most credit the flick for establishing the slasher template BEFORE the likes of Halloween. What’s really important is what a genuinely enthralling […]

Black Heat

Also see The Films of Al AdamsonAlso see Secrets of B-Moviemaking Surely the most pedestrian of drive-in king Al Adamson‘s dalliances in blaxploitation. This meandering crime story chronicles an international drugs-for-guns scheme seasoned by sleazy Vegas hijinks and NFL running back Timothy Brown‘s quest, as bare-knuckled copper Kicks Carter, to avenge his partner’s gangland murder. Doesn’t get more […]

Bite Me!

No-budget auteur Brett Piper answers Arachnia, his delightful Harryhausenian critter crawl, with this equally amusing stop-motion throwback set against the salacious stage of the Go-Go-Sarus. Boy, oh boy, only Seduction Cinema would craft a creature feature about a strip joint infested with bloodsucking spider thingies that are somehow the mutant byproduct of "super-potent killer weed." […]

Bikini Bandits Experience

During the dot com craze, these buxom babes were the cat’s meow, routinely jiggling on the MTV and beyond through a series of high-caliber, high drool-factor video shorts. Now, the bodacious bandits are back with their own movie of sorts, more accurately, a 53-minute collection of said salacious shorts stitched together with bizarre animations and […]

Bellydance Fitness for Beginners

Our survey of fitness sleaze continues after a rather exhausting debut with Anna Kournikova: Basic Elements. Raven-haired identical twins Veena and Neena Bidasha take their love of dance and meld it with their daily maintenance routine as stunning babes to create Bellydance Fitness for Beginners: Arms, Abs, Hips, Buns & Thighs (1999, 65 minutes). The […]

Boa vs. Python

There’s not too many flicks where PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING is used as an effective foreshadowing device. Come to think of it, the "Eureka! Let’s sic this 85-foot snake on that OTHER 12-ton bellycrawler!" crowd is rather sparse as well. That’s a shame, because after TWO tired Python pictures and Boa, those prolific folks at UFO Films […]

Blade II

Mexican FX slinger turned grue auteur Guillermo del Toro is, as the youngsters say, "the shiznit." No one in mainstream Hollywood is flinging buckets of blood and oozing creatures at the camera like THIS guy. He first drew the attention of CineSchlockers by making comely Mira Sorvino chase overgrown cockroaches through the icky wiles of […]

Bones

Elvis did it. So did Frank and Madonna. Singers aren’t often the best actors, but their public, and sometimes their egos, demand it. Rappers may have the strongest call to the big screen. Perhaps it’s the same inner force that compels them to long for Bentleys, speedboats and vintage Miss Pac-Man games. CineSchlocker fave Ice-T […]

Black Scorpion II

Joan Severance returns to tackle TWO baddies: Gangster Prankster and AfterShock. We’ve got a new Mike (Whip Hubley), but Darcy is just as determined to diddle him senseless. Prankster (Stoney Jackson) is the Def Comedy Jam’s answer to The Joker with a Super Soaker full of acid and a busty sidekick named Giggles (who jiggles out […]