Also see Tale of the Teeth
One way the little guys sponge off the big fellas is to catch wind of a gimmick and beat them to the screen with it. In a move that clearly illustrates why he’s the reigning King of Bs, Roger Corman did exactly that by rushing his own dino fest into theaters weeks ahead of Jurassic Park with star Laura Dern‘s own mother in the lead role (Diane Ladd). In fact, Carnosaur spawned two gruesome sequels before Steven Spielberg‘s horde of computer jockeys could even begin to finish animating The Lost World. But, then, they’re "artists." Corman’s people do what they do best — and cheapest — throw lots of guts, bullets and ferocious puppets at the camera. It only seems fitting that we now take a gander at the Carnosaur trilogy in honor of Jurassic Park III (the most CineSchlocker-friendly entry of the franchise).
Within the cramped cages of a chicken farm, hens lay "special" eggs from which genetically engineered varmints emerge and proceed to devour hayseed and yokel alike. The beasts grow rapidly with each feeding until they become full-sized Velociraptors, while one experiences severe gigantism and tops out as a T-Rex. Meanwhile, a environmentalist commune harasses the night watchman (Raphael Sbarge) of a peaceful strip-mining outfit by insisting on waking him from his Jack Daniels stupor mid-shift. But BEFORE he can make time with the blonde tree hugger (Jennifer Runyon) folks start turning up at the morgue with their limbs rearranged and their innards chewed out. A real romance killer. Diane Ladd is the mad scientist responsible for tinkering with DNA and raising Jurassic hell. Features unbelievable dino "birthing" sequences from HUMAN mothers coupled with an equally shocking ending involving Alfred E. Neuman of MAD magazine fame.
Notables: No breasts. 33 corpses. Dinovision. Gratuitous chicken processing plant footage. Wild driving. Gratuitous urination. Puking. Face munching. Flame throwing. Puppy gobbling. Dino disco lounge.
Quotables: B-legend Clint Howard‘s character wonders, "I’ve never seen such nervous chickens. Maybe they smell rain, or else the sky is falling." Our hero’s motto, "Better a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." Hippie’s last words, "Greetings, green brother!" Dr. Tiptree explains the method of her madness, "The Earth was not made for us, she was made for the dinosaurs. The Earth was scaled to their dimensions. Human beings are ants crawling through their living rooms … I don’t want to end the world. Just one unruly species."
Time codes: Bad egg attacks unsuspecting human (5:50). Brain surgery scene on late show (9:18). A hellacious midnight snack (35:20). Do NOT show this movie to pregnant women (50:30).