January 18, 2001
Misty Mundae may look like the doe-eyed flower child next door, yet she’s just as at ease donning sinfully-snug fetishware and kicking Nazi keister in her double-barrel spoof of video vixen Lara Croft. Maybe more so! Sleaze auteur William Hellfire introduced Ms. Mundae in I Was a Teenage Strangler (1997) and from there she became one of the more prolific sexploitation starlets with roles in twisted snuff flicks such as Going Under, Lesbos Slaughter and The Vampire Strangler, her only X-rated feature. She kept her clothes on and STILL drew critical attention as a holy-rollin’ highschooler in Hellfire’s ultra-controversial Columbine satire Duck! The Carbine High Massacre. Misty’s currently the face of Retro-Seduction Cinema and stars in a series of shorts paired with classic erotic films, as well as stealing most any scene she’s in among the lesbian-friendly parodies by John Bacchus. Time in front of the camera is squeezed between semester breaks from college, Misty’s first priority, but she graciously consented to spare a few moments for the following foolishness.
Paramount had Angelina Jolie training umpteen hours a day with numerous stunt and weapons experts for a certain OTHER flick. What sort of preparation did you endure? It looks as though both the gunplay AND foreplay come pretty naturally.
As far as natural instincts, foreplay — absolutely. Gun slinging and shooting — a little frightening. I shot some clay pigeons when I was about 10 and beyond that I had never fired a real gun. Of course the firearms were loaded with blanks, but the sound and the sparks were pretty intimidating. The first couple of rehearsals, my motivation was "look real tough," ya know, bad ass. Needless to say my initial facial expressions were ones of sincere terror! When we rolled off the first take of myself firing the weapon, I sheepishly asked if I could do the take again. They complied. I’m sure I looked really awkward. But then after a few more rehearsals I was like "Yeeehaw! This is fun!" It’s a rush! The only real training I may have needed was in running, leaping and dodging bullets in a pair of six-inch platform boots. That’s a little challenging.
Those boots ALONE best your rivals’ Raider ensembles. Whose idea were the novelty panties beneath?
Those belonged to Darian Caine, I believe. She pulled them out of her suitcase as we were all getting into makeup and wardrobe. We all felt they were pretty appropriate for my rendition of the Jolie character. Instead of some upscale aristocratic, pretty bitch with no better way to waste her time than chase after some jewels, my character was genuinely tough. A lean, mean ass-whipping machine. I think the "100% White Trash" thong interjected a more realistic portrayal of what a true heroine would pay homage to.
What was more disturbing on set: The Mummy or Director Brian Paulin’s delicate bangs?
I’m not sure I catch your drift, man. The mummy was brilliant. The make up was really awesome. For what the production was, considering time and budget, the mummy was perfect. The director, Brian Paulin (right), and his entire crew were super cool and really fun to work with. In fact, he was such a nice guy that I completely disregarded the fact that his hair was slightly outdated. I can relate to that, man, how do you think I became the Retro-Seduction Cinema logo girl? I look slightly out of place in 2002. People will still be poking fun at me for rocking bell-bottoms well after they have gone out of fashion (again!), so I have a heapin helpin’ of respect for Brian and his "delicate bangs." I think he looks kind of like Dave Mustane from Megadeath.
I’ll go along with that. Since you’ve already adopted the Chuck Heston role in Play-Mate of the Apes, would you consider doing the same in a Seduction Cinema adaptation of The Ten Commandments?
HELL NO!!!
There goes my development deal. In the original Apes, Chuck’s girlfriend Nova is deliriously gorgeous, but can’t talk. Have you had relationships that would have benefited from this?
I’m certainly proud to say, "No." I normally don’t surround myself with people who are visually stimulating and intellectually unmotivating. I aim to base my relationships, love, friend and work related, on personality. I like hanging out with people who have something to say.
You often co-star with Darian Caine, of whom I’m a huge fan, and I don’t say that because she threatened to scratch my eyes out otherwise. What have you learned from, or has impressed you about her?
Darian is a really smart girl. I strive to be more like her, because she’s very professional and still always tons of fun to work with. A lot of B-role actresses, when they are asked about their aspirations, indulge their little pipe dreams by confessing, "Oh, some day I’d like to work with Tim Burton or David Lynch." I’ve always been anxious to confess that working with somebody like Darian is completely inspiring. We are very similar, I think, in our motivation for starring in these types of films. It’s purely for the fun and the loot. I don’t ever feel like I have to star in a major motion picture with an umpteen million dollar budget, in order to feel as if I have "made it!" All the success that I experience through this avenue of entertainment is definitely something to be proud of. She and I are kind of on the same page with this. She built a name for herself really quickly, because of her beauty, her talent and her unmistakably awesome personality. She and I are pretty unlikely to conform into mainstream movie stars later on in our careers, but knowing that she has become so independently successful and popular was always really encouraging when I was first starting out.
Your cocky confession scenes in Erotic Survivor were inspired. Like when you looked into the camera and snarled, "I’m gonna win the 20 dollars, because I’M the toughest bitch here!" Where’d that attitude come from?
Uh, I dunno. I think I was just being silly, really.
So, again, it just comes naturally. I’m in utter awe of John Bacchus. How do you feel about him as a filmmaker?
Brilliant! It’s like squeezing blood from a stone. Here we are on a set with serious time and money restraints, as with any independent film set. We have basically a cast of amateur actors and actresses, a crew full of people who are there because they want to be, not because this new film is going to be the one that makes us all rich and famous. These are legitimate, reputable films, but at the same time you have to realize that working on any low-budget production is tons of hard work and other bullshit. John Bacchus has a lot of insight as to how to turn that steaming pile of bullshit into something pretty amazing. It’s like Jodorowsky‘s Holy Mountain, ya know, when they’re in the temple and they turn the turd into a nugget of gold. Are you with me, man?
With you!? I’m dizzy from your adept Jodorowsky reference. While I catch my breath, has Kimbo ever tried to pressure you into an after hours rendezvous?
I’m up for anything!
So I’ve noticed. In fact, some rather, um, UNFORTUNATE things happen to the young ladies you portrayed in your earlier work with William Hellfire. What’s the most ridiculous scenario you remember?
Foot fetishism. I had multiple choice questions that I had to read out loud and answer, pertaining to what my feet smelled like. For example: A) cheese B) tuna fish C) Fritos D) popcorn. If memory serves I opted for D) popcorn.
That’s certainly the more pleasant of the four. You also play an excellent fiend! What’s the most ruthless role you’ve done?
I was working on a production with director Terry West and Tina Krause, co-produced by Darian Caine, last spring. I play a mean, dirty-ass biker bitch. When they were casting for the shoot, Terry informed me that a few people were under the impression that I couldn’t pull off the part. My image is just too sweet. Terry had faith in my acting and gave me the role anyway. It was definitely a nice change, having been given a role where I was NOT advised to wear a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. Instead, I was told to not wash my hair for a couple of days before the shoot. It was an exciting transition for me. Lots of fun.
Can’t wait to see that! Having grown up as a fundamentalist, I was particularly amused by your performance in Duck! The Carbine High Massacre. Is that a part you look back on fondly?
Yeah, absolutely. I love that film. I am really proud of it. I should have described that role as being my best villain. Fucking evil cunt, huh?
No doubt. Did doing the parody so soon after the Columbine shootings give you any pause?
In my head, that was the opportune time to do it. If we were attempting to make a sociopolitical satire filled with exploitative subject matter to offend anyone and everyone who watched it, it would seem self-defeating to release it after all of the controversy had died down. I don’t believe that it would have sent as strong of a message if it had not been released so shortly after all of the mayhem.
Tell me about Mr. Hellfire. Pervo or prince?
Who? What? Oh, Bill! Uh, what do you mean, perv or prince?! He IS the Prince of Perv!
What should we expect from Seduction Cinema honcho Michael Beckerman’s directorial debut — The Seduction of Misty Mundae? I understand y’all are putting a new spin on the classic Inga films.
Yes, well, the whole concept of that picture was to emulate soft-porn at its sexiest point. The older Sarno and Franco films didn’t need to show a lot, but all the implications were very strongly sexual. I’m not saying this film doesn’t deliver, it certainly does. But in ’70s porn, before breast implants and bleach blonde hair was an erotic necessity, the films were about aestheticism. This film is a fairly innocent coming-of-age type scenario, where my character quickly develops into a young woman via a few sexualizing experiences. Plot, ya know?
Always important in good storytelling! They tell me you’re very committed to your collegiate pursuits. What’s your major? Let me assure you that a journalism degree ain’t worth squat.
Not worth squat!? Why, because you’ve resorted to interviewing me? OK, I get it. Don’t worry I’m not easily offended. Anyway, no major yet. I’m going to learn as much about everything that I possibly can and then maybe decide.
OK, I’ll admit my gig has its moments, like right about now. Who would win in a strawberry-jelly rassling match between you and Laurie Wallace? And can I officiate?
You can put your money on me. If she’ll take us up on it. I’m always down for a good ol’ strawberry-jelly rassling match. I guess.
Are there any other upcoming projects you’d also like to touch on?
Well, I have recently been assigned some new responsibilities on the Seduction Cinema task force. I’ll be writing and directing for an upcoming feature. Hopefully everyone will be psyched to see what I come up with. I’m pretty confident that it will be super sexy and groovy too.
Oh, I’m psyched! Is there anything you’d like to say to your fans out there?
Right on!
Solid. Thanks for your time, Misty!
