Features

Reader Feedback 2004

Gunnysack O’ Goodies

Kevin writes: I have been reading your column for a few years now. Just wanted to throw myhat in the ring for some free stuff like many others are no doubt doing in a shameless attempt to getsomething for nothing. Your unapologetic swiping of Joe Bob’s gimmick always sat well with me. Any ass kissing aside, you are probably the only thing I still actually read at dvdtalk. Place became far too elitist and whiny for me to stomach. But I always check out the newsletter I get each week or so from you. I pretty much have the same tastes as you. We even posted some similar remarks about the unwarranted blind paise Anchor Bay used to receive and their shifty business practices during that Re-Animator rights thing a few years ago. I even almost bought your original Elite NOTLD disc off half.com once … You probably don’t hear that often, huh? Heh. Anyway, I have wasted enough of your time I’m sure. If I get something from you, cool … if not, cool as well. I will still keep reading your stuff. Keep up the only thing worth a damn at dvdtalk.

Noel responds: You’re clearly an astute fellow, Kevin! Although I’d encourage you to give the larger DVD Talk family another chance — if only to have another voice in the mix. Really appreciate the note. If I’m ever in doubt if people are paying attention, I need only to haul out the Gunnysack O’ Goodies, as I’ve been just plain BURIED in emails. Congrats for being quick on the draw and with your kind comments. Most of all, thanks for reading! For those who missed it, there was a short note tacked to the end of my Ice Cream Man column offering two free DVDs to the first 10 takers. Following the good Lord’s example, I actually chose 12 — further congrats to Jeremy, Fred, Sam, Gregory, Phil, Christine, David, Matthew, John, Gabe and Frank.

 

Ice Cream Man

Philip writes: Read your review about Ice Cream Man this morning and had a nice early chuckle. I also have to give it to you and Mr. Kleinman for really sticking it out in trying to do right by a marginal title that you both obviously love so much. Nice to see such dedication for things that most folks would be content to let slip through the cracks. I’ve never seen the film myself, but you certainly raised my curiousity about it… I enjoy your section of DVDTalk very much. Thanks for keeping up interest in all things Schlock.

 

CineSchlocker idol Clint Howard writes: Just read the article. It’s sweet. You did areally nice job … This is no b.s. I think it’s one of the best articles I’ve read where I’ve been quoted. Thank you. Listen, if anything else comes up feel free to ring me up. If I have something I think you might be interested in, I’ll do the same. Once again, really nice piece.

 

Stanley squeezed

Ed writes: I’ve been wanting to see Grefe’s STANLEY ever since viewing the trailer on Something Weird’s DEATH CURSE OF TARTU/STING OF DEATH disc…but now that I read in your most recent CineSchlock-O-Rama report that it’s a shoddy, cut TV print, should I even bother? Is this one of those cases where an elusive big-box VHS from 20 years ago would be a better option? What other films are on the set? Are they all similarly mistreated (I’d assume so from your description; 8 films on one disc…even BRENTWOOD wouldn’t stoop that low)? I’d like to hope Rhino would step in and do the right thing, but alas…that’s their music guys that put out the awesome releases. The title of the set and their obsession with MST3K box sets shows where their b-film hearts lie…

Noel responds: I’d advise against the Rhino release for the very reasons you state. I’m quite content with my 16-year-old VidAmerica tape. Shame the box art isn’t NEARLY as, um, evocative as the original movie poster, which I also proudly showcase here at CineSchlock-O-Rama HQ!

 

Re: Lost Al Adamson film

Kier-la writes: One of your readers asked about a lost Al Adamson film, "Carnival Magic." The Alamo Drafthouse Cinema is playing a 35mm print of it in Austin, TX on Dec. 1st at midnight, for free.

Noel responds: Now there’s a blast from the past! What excellent news. I’m half tempted to make the drive down from Dallas just to take a gander. Tell you what, I’ll forward your note on to Al’s buddy and frequent collaborator Sam Sherman. Maybe we can get that print transfered to DVD! (Update: Mr. Sherman says he isn’t the rights holder for Carnival, but to expect Hell’s Bloody Devils soon.)

 

Bring on the Night

Andy writes: I don’t know if you’ve mentioned this one before but why hasn’t the TV "The Night Stalker" (starring Darren McGavin) been released on DVD? With seemingly every mediocre show in the history of television being given the grand DVD treatment these days, why isn’t one of the finest horror TV shows from being considered? I know they’ve released a couple of "The Night Stalker" movies on DVD but I want the episodes! This show scared the crap out of me when I was a kid and I watched it religously. This one definitely tops my DVD want list.

Noel responds: I’m not sure what’s kept the brakes on a complete episodic release. Hopefully, if the MGM double feature sells well, our wait time will be significantly shorter! Have you heard spooky Frank Spotnitz is developing a Night Stalker retread for ABC? I thought he already did that show — The X-Files.

 

Really, really Unrated?

Eric writes: You mean to tell me the R-rated DVD version of Blown Away and the "Unrated" VHS version are ACTUALLY one and the same. Please confirm this. Did you play them on two TVs side by side or what? I’ve been wanting to buy the DVD version but have hesitated because I thought something was cut out of it. There is so much speculation on the internet. I don’t know what to believe. Please get back to me as soon as possible. Thanks for your time.

Noel responds: You’re clearly unfamiliar with my tragic breadth of knowledge pertaining to dubious cinematic achievements. In fact, I have a tattered VHS copy of Blown Away to attest to my formidable familiarity with the material. So, when I say it’s Unrated, by The Coreys, it’s UNRATED! And, yes, I ran ’em side-by-side just to be extra, extra certain. After all, this is my professional reputation we’re talking about here!

 

Only 3 stars for Orca?

Corey writes: Gotta say you need to give Orca one more star. This is the horrible truth about Free Willy. We rented it the other night and it truly is a work of greatness. The filmmakers didn’t even try to wuss out and make the killer whale and Richard Harris both perish in their struggle … It is a damn shame they didn’t do any bonus stuff — making of and oceanographers.

Noel responds: Now if they sub our ornery Orca into the next Free Willy sequel — that’d be a four-star feast for sure! Your position’s well taken, but I gotta stand by my rating.

 

Impulse. Ahead slow.

Kyle writes: I have another suggestion for the Most Wanted: a relatively obscure flick from 1974 called IMPULSE. It stars William Shatner as a man who marries wealthy women, bilks them of their cash with an insurance scam, and then kills them. However, the next woman who he’s planning on marrying has a young daughter who catches on, and tries to stop him. Not only does Shat star, this also stars Harold "Odd Job" Sakata (yay!), Ruth Roman, and, Fuad Ramses himself, William Kerwin in a cameo.

Noel responds: Great suggestion! I actually met Bill Grefe, director of Impulse (a.k.a. Want a Ride, Little Girl), four years ago at a Fangoria convention in Orlando. He shared his favorite clip — a sweet shot from INSIDE a car sliding in and sinking into water with an all-too-pleased Shatner on the bank. Even explained exactly how the shot was done (using a junker car and an underwater camera). My guess is that our friends at Something Weird Video would be on the case in a hurry if the rights and a salvageable print were available. Unfortunately, it seems many of Grefe’s Floridia-lensed flicks are MIA, including one of my all-time faves — Mako: Jaws of Death (also featuring Odd Job!) Oh, and I gotta correct you, Bill Kerwin PURSUED the crazed caterer in Blood Feast. You’re thinking of Mal Arnold who had no where near the illustrious career Kerwin enjoyed.

 

Making movies in hell

Frequent Doris Wishman cinematographer C. Davis Smith (a.k.a. CHUCK!) writes: I read your review of A Night to Dismember and I LOVED IT! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! [Doris’ final film] Each Time I Kill has gone through three editors SO FAR. One guy from Texas wanted to do it because he was a Doris fan…didn’t happen. Then it went to New York to be edited by an Emmy Award editor…not being familiar with Doris pictures…The the producers tried a crack at it themselves…I saw the first version and complained that they missed all the Dorisisms…so the re-cut to some of my suggestions and the second cut didn’t hit the mark either…Now an editor who was a big Doris fan in Germany has it…but still no picture.

Noel responds: I’m honored! Thanks for the latest on Each Time I Kill and for your efforts to preserve her unique style. You’re the best!

 

Most Wanted suggestion

Bruce writes: May I suggest Michael Crichton’s "Looker"(1981) starring Albert Finney, James Coburn, and Susan Dey. Dr. Larry Roberts (Albert Finney) is a top Beverly Hills plastic surgeon who finds himself embroiled in a sinister mind-control conspiracy run by James Coburn when several of the women Roberts operated on are murdered.

 

Coopersmith speaks!

CineSchlocker idol Clint Howard writes: I was forwarded your wonderful review of a film Idid a long time ago "Evilspeak" and I just wanted to drop you a quick e-mail expressing my gratitude for yourkind words. It brings a smile to my face when somebody takes the time to revisit Evilspeak in such a celebratory way. I’ve been very fortunate in my career to do a lot of unique work. Evilspeak is one of my favorite experiences and when it got re-released on DVD, I was tickled. Once again, thanks for the kind words.

Noel responds: Thank me? Thank YOU! What a thrill to receive your note. It’s ridiculously easy to yammer gleefully about Evilspeak and your continuing contributions to wonderfully entertaining films.

 

Where’s Andy?

Gabe writes: Do you know if they are still planning to release the rest of the Andy Sidaris Collection?

Noel responds: Fear not! Just heard from Arlene who assures me she and Andy have the extras for the last four titles all ready to be pressed and are in the midst of finalizing some distribution dealings. In the mean time, grab a copy of Bullets, Bombs and Babes: The Films of Andy Sidaris and treat your peepers to 100-plus pages chock full of eye-popping photos, cast interviews, photos, movie info, photos, Andy’s autobiography, photos and more photos. It’s certainly holds a place of honor on MY coffee table!

 

The Bride of Frank

Jeff writes: Hi. I read your reviews faithfully. We wrote back and forth a year or two ago talking about ROCK N ROLL FRANKENSTIEN and I think I found a film you might like. It’s called BRIDE OF FRANK. It was made in New Jersey and it’s about the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. These guys who work for a trucking company take in a street person (Frank), let him live in the depot office, then try to get him laid. One of the liner notes on the DVD box is "If Frank says he’s going to rip off your head and shit down your throat, you’d better believe him." I found the DVD at the Diabolik web site, an all region DVD site, but I think FRANK is a region 0 or 1. Diabolik is the only place I’ve seen the DVD for sale, for some reason. Great stuff. Thanks for listening.

Noel responds: Always nice when readers take time to recommend a flick for ME to check out. Sounds like you’ve run across quite the chestnut there! The title sounded familiar and, sure enough, The Bride of Frank is distributed by my friends over at Sub Rosa and is available at Amazon. Thanks for reading! For being so faithful and all, be sure to send along your mailing address so I can send you a thank-you disc from my Gunnysack O’ Goodies.

 

Filthy thank you

Filthy writer/director Andy Lalino writes: Hi! Just wanted to say thank you for granting a review of "Filthy" on CineSchlock-O-Rama. It was a real thrill receiving it in my e-mail subscription. I just placed news of the review on the official "Filthy" website. I’m a little behind due to the hurricanes (I live in the Tampa Bay area of Florida), so I’m sorry if this note is being received a bit later than I intended. I always enjoy my latest issue of CSOR. I hope we can keep in touch over time. Let me be the first to wish you Happy Halloween!

Noel responds: Always a pleasure to clue folks in on a title they might not have run across if not for my fool column. Surely wish I’d enjoyed Filthy more, though. But I also pinched my gutter-dwelling nose through Lord of the Rings and Kill Bill, so you’ve probably got a goldang hit on your hands. Please extend Meatman my warmest regards! Ingenious bit of filmmaking there — combining craft services WITH your boogeyman. Stay filthy and no more hurricanes!

 

Creature features

Van writes: I read your review about "Boa Vs. Python," and now I’ve got to see this snake movie. I saw the two "Python" movies and they really sucked. I saw "Boa" and it was marginally better. Of course, "Anaconda" topped "Anacondas," too. As a published film critic myself with an appreciation for the warped, "Boa Vs. Python” looked interesting, but I hesitated to bite after "Boa" and the "Python" movies.Thanks for that alert on the other movie. Keep up the good work.

Noel responds: I consider myself a critter cinema connoisseur, so like you, after being thrice suckered by giant CGI snake pictures, Boa vs. Python was a welcome surprise. Hope you’re amused as well. But Spiders and Komodo still top my list of the post-Anaconda creature crush.

 

Cuffs off, please

Nick writes: I start with the usual expression of gratitude for your part in pointing me in the direction of so much quality Schlock. Now to my enquiry: I recently watched Something Wild on DVD, and am perplexed by an apparent cut in the film. I am sure that I remember from my viewing at the time of its original release that there is a scene near the beginning, just after they have had sex in the motel, when Jeff Daniels’s character begs Melanie Griffiths to remove the handcuffs and she refuses. It is not a big scene, nor an extreme one, but this makes its removal all the more peculiar. My memory could be at fault here, but looking at the VHS edition online, it would appear to be 2 minutes longer at 116 minutes vs 114 for the DVD. In addition, towards the end of the film Melanie Griffiths removes the handcuffs, and the significance of this gesture is marked, suggesting that it should have been signposted in some way earlier in the film. So, there we go. Perhaps you or one of your readers can explain this oddity. I know this isn’t the usual line of questioning you get, but I figure that with cameos from Charles Napier and John Waters among others, and an ample screening of Melanie Griffiths’ breasts, Something Wild should qualify for comment in your column.

Noel responds: Quite the mystery there. In my mind, and it appears you’d agree, handcuff hanky panky is ALWAYS integral to the plot. I’ll post your note for the public consumption of our fellow CineSchlockers in hopes it might provoke a definitive answer. Wouldn’t be the first time MGM made a boo-boo. I don’t think we’ll ever see an uncut Swamp Thing again!

 

Comic-Con correction

James writes: Just thought I’d mention Comiket, the Japanese Comic Market event held in Tokyo twice a year. Recent attendance has reportedly been around 300,000 or more over the course of 3 days, with maybe 10,000 or more vendors/tables. I don’t know if it qualifies as a "funny book and pop culture conclave," but if so, it’s clearly bigger than Comic Con. Not a big deal really, at least not to me. I’m not going to try to argue which one is better. I’ve never been to either one. (Poor, poor, pitiful me. sniff.) But just going by the raw numbers, Comiket sounds much bigger. Oh, and thanks for the report on Comic Con. Entertaining and informative reading, as always.

Noel responds: Can’t 300,000 folks accidently wander through just looking for a BATHROOM over in Tokyo? Figures they’d top the charts. I’ll amend my intro in the interest of accuracy. (Not that I’ve let such an arcane journalism tenet stand in my way before.) Glad you enjoyed the travelogue! You’d be surprised just HOW MANY bloggers are troubled by the cut of Corey Haim’s jib these days. So much so that even MY green getup gets an automatic pass!

 

Pre-Predator 2

Nick writes: A great Predator review. Just one thing to mention. You don’t have to change it, but I figured I’d inform ya that the Aliens vs. Predator comic came out in 1989, a year before Predator 2. So it was actually that single comic that spawned the single frame in the movie, videogames, more comics, and the media that it has today.

Noel responds: Ah, yes, but who gave Dark Horse Comics permission? How long had the P2 script been swirling around? Sounds like one of those goldang chicken verses egg scenarios. My faith is in the power of FILM! Speaking of said power, or lack there of, I just got back from Alien vs. Predator and can’t seem to shake this feeling of underwhelment. There’s 3-stars worth of critter clamity in there somewhere, though, I’m sure of it. But if the Big P couldn’t abide Ah-nold or Danny Glover, just how the heck did Sista Ripley pull off that final reel? While I reflect on this further, let me send you Blue Underground’s Zombie from my Gunnysack O’ Goodies for paying enough attention to RAISE your comic book quandary.

 

Return, I will, to old Brazil

Luciano writes: My name is luciano. I live in the brazil. I am studying movies. I saw your pictures with the two coreys and reggie bannister and do I want to know if I have how to communicate with them? I am a great fan of them !! Please help me !!

Noel responds: Greetings my Brazilian brother! I don’t know about Mr. Haim, but Corey Feldman and Reggie Bannister both have official websites. Curiously, BOTH are frustrated musicians. Mr. Feldman even has his own celebrity photo gallery featuring his grinning mug alongside Paul McCartney — TWICE! Guess we all have our earthbound idols.

 

Most Wanted nominee

Gene writes: Is there any trace at all of the made-for-TV movie, The Tenth Level, starring William Shatner. A movie that shows the brutality of regular people who would shock people who answer a question incorrectly. The more they miss the higher the voltage until they’re too fried to take the walk of shame or any other walk for that matter. By the end, we learn that it was all just a psychology experiment to see how many people would really follow instructions to zap people at increasing levels of voltage just because they would told to do so. I was in Kindergarten when this aired, and it really bothered me to think that people were being shocked to death just because they were answering questions wrongly. I remember leaving the room and not watching the last half of the movie because it bothered me so much. I would love to actually see the whole movie. I’m going to guess this movie aired 1973 or 1974. I’d appreciate anything you could do to get this movie back out.

 

Zombi 2 or Zombie?

Steve writes: I love your reviews and can only hope you know the answer to my question. Which version of Zombi 2 is the one I should purchase? I have never noticed 2 different versions of the same film being released on the same day by different company’s. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Noel responds: It’s a bit of a pickle, isn’t it? Media Blasters is releasing a two-disc special edition touting "four hours of extras." While, Blue Underground’s polished up the transfer and modernized the audio. Without the two in hand for comparison, I can only tell you how I’d vote with my credit card, and that’d be in favor of the BU release. They’ve got serious skins, especially when it comes to Fulci, and I’m STILL steamed over MB’s mistreatment of the great Herschell Gordon Lewis.

 

A CineSchlocker is born

Ryan writes: I just wanted to thank you for the incredible job you do on the reviews. I actually get excited when your review newsletter hits my inbox and of all the reviewers on dvdtalk it is your opinions I put the most stock in. So a great big thanks from all of us who love campy cinema!

Noel responds: You’re most kind to say so! I’m always humbled to learn my earnest pursuit of what the overwhelming majority of cinephiles consider an utter waste of time is appreciated beyond the confines of my padded screening room. I intend to post your email on my fridge next to an autographed photo of Bernie Kopell. You keep reading, I’ll keep pecking this malarky into my laptop. Deal? Ah, shoot, I’d do it anyway. Send me your mailing address and I’ll send ya something from my Gunnysack O’ Goodies.

 

You … boob!

Carl writes: First things first, I love the newsletter and often enjoy the humor of the reviews.You recently, however, made a comment on WILD THINGS 2, something to the extent of "if anybody watched the first WILD THINGS for any thing other then the sex scenes, you’re a moron!" Now, I’d be lying to you if I told you that I didn’t have a copy of WILD THINGS in my T-and-A pile, but I also did think that the movie had a pretty good lurid thriller plot to it. Is it Oscar writing? No, but it’s fun. It’s like the argument over BASIC INSTINCT, that nobody watches it for any thing but the sex. The sex is good, but the thriller plot is cool, too. I hate to gripe, but you should give b-movie fans more credit than just " Check out the boobs! " mentality, because some of us still think that the story, however slight it may be, is worth watching.

Noel responds: I’m prone to hyperbole. It’s true, many perceive Wild Things and Basic Instinct as plot-rich thrillers. Just as I reckon Showgirls, at its little black heart, is the tender tale of a young woman’s struggle toward a dream — to pick herself up by her g-string and put her lap-dancing days behind her. However, where we’ll have to disagree, sir, is the fastidious notion that a "Check out the boobs!" mentality is disparaging. To paraphrase one of our forefathers, also apt to exaggerate, "Gimme ogle-liberty or gimme death!" But let me attempt to smooth things over by offering you a free copy of Wild Things 2 or another gem from my Gunnysack O’ Goodies.

 

Save the music

Ron writes: Was glad to see your wonderful review of STARSHIP TROOPERS II, a totally terrific sequel. You passingly mentioned the soundtrack..which is part and parcel of this movie’s zest..and it was penned by my two good pals, John Morgan and Bill Stromberg. These dudes deserves ton more Hollywood gigs, their music is epic.

Noel responds: Surely John and Bill have no more devoted friend than yourself. I find that incredibly remarkable nowadays. Yet my review was neither favorable nor complimentary of the score. Perhaps I was remiss in the latter. I do recall due back-patting amongst the commentary participants, though. I promise to keep an ear open for their future collaborations.

 

Static about static

Seth writes: I was reading your review of the Police Academy Collection and you weresaying: "Part 3 suffers static consistent with an audio transmission from Mars!" Is there anything we can do so Warner Brothers will correct this problem. I thought the dvd was defective at first but then watched it at my brothers house and it suffered the same way. To me the noise is completely intolerable. No dvd should have audio so poor, especially something from the mid 1980s. Thank you for advice.

Noel responds: Pretty crummy, eh? Wish I could point you directly to the folks who done us wrong, but all I can offer are Warner Home Video’s digits … 818-954-6000. Now, if you need to know the name Fred Olen Ray rassles under or why I once collapsed at the feet of Linnea Quigley like a sack of taters, well, I’m always subject to bribery. Lemme know if you get anywhere with Warner.

 

Mr. Metaphor

Gregg writes: I just read your excellent interview with David Cronenberg, but was *deeply* disturbed to hear the news about The Fly Special Edition DVD. How recently was this interview conducted? In it, Cronenberg says "Fox once phoned wanting me to do a commentary for The Fly." The "once" implies that this was some time ago (Film historian Tim Lucas, who wrote an article about The Fly for Cinefex, told me that he was contacted several years back to provide his own recollections about the film for a Special Edition that never materialized. Could this aborted effort be what Cronenberg was referring to, or did he indicate that this was more recent? Peter Staddon of Fox has made overtures over the past year or so that a Fly Special Edition was in the works, and that "Good things come to those who wait. You should be happy sometime in 2004". Could it be that Fox plans to bang out a half-hearted Special Edition (with the deleted scenes and a few other token extras), perhaps to promote the upcoming Todd Lincoln-directed Fly remake? Or has Fox not yet contacted Cronenberg about their latest SE effort? A Fly "Special Edtion" without Cronenberg would be worthless, even with the dangling carrot of the infamous deleted scenes (which I’ve hungered to see for years). Let’s hope this gets resovled soon!

Noel responds: My Cronenberg chat was on May 5th and, yes, he was referring to Fox’s current double-feature disc. He made it clear he’d only heard "rumors" of a special edition and that any such release wouldn’t meet his approval or garner his commentary without a fresh transfer. If I’ve got David’s digits, you can bet Fox does as well, so continue to "bring pressure to bear" as he suggests. I’ll gladly share your links with my readers.

 

Ted writes: As always I enjoy your mailings. I can’t wait to read your Cronenberg interview — I’m at wo