Features

Reader Feedback 2005

Saw vs. Chainsaw

Elektro writes: Hello, i have been reading your articles for some time now. For the most part i find them interesting. But i was reading your review for Saw, and i was rather curious about something. I am 35 years old and for as long as i can remember anyone who is a Texas Chainsaw Massacre fan has always called it simply Chainsaw and not Saw as you claimed. I have talked with people from around the world about this film, and one thing i have learned is that all you need to say is Chainsaw and anyone who knows anything about film will know what your talking about. In fact as i recall your hero Joe Bob Briggs refers to it as Chainsaw as well. Anyway not trying to be an ass, just pointing out that i don’t know who your talking to that refers to it simply as Saw, but thats a new one on me and lots of others as well.

Noel responds: While it’s true I’m prone to exaggeration, I’ll go ahead and argue my point as succinctly as possible. Your honor, I enter Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 into evidence, which both feature the line: "The Saw is Family." Secondly, being the owner of hundreds of recorded hours of MonsterVision and still hundreds more We Are the Weird/Joe Bob Report newsletters, I call myself as an expert witness on the work of one Joe Bob Briggs, who when asked the greatest horror movie of all time, will most often answer: "Saw is king!" The defense rests.

 

Lawnmower man

Jeff writes: Re: Shaun of the Dead ["The creators of the British anti-sitcom Spaced have done the undoable by masterfully cross-pollinating an honest-to-goodness romantic comedy with an old-school, flesh-gnawing, apocalyptic ZOMBIE epic."] Of course, the undoable had been previously done by Peter Jackson over a decade ago, and of course I’m talkin’ about BRAIN DEAD, one of the finest comedic horror films ever made (says I). Just a thought. Excellent review, by the way. Keep up the good work.

Noel responds: Goldang it, Jeff! You caught me with my foot toe-deep in my mouth. Jackson surely did skate along the line of heartfelt romance and wholesale zombie holocaust. What’s more shameful is that Brain Dead (a.k.a. Dead Alive) is my favorite Peter Jackson film. (Never took to those weepy hobbits.) However, I will indulge in a bit of rationalizing by saying Shaun of the Dead plays on "mainstream" romantic comedy conventions. Yet I feel I owe you and my fellow Dead Alive fans some measure of pennance, so pass me your mailing address and I’ll send you a disc (have your pick) from my Gunnysack O’ Goodies. Thanks for keeping me semi-honest.

 

Dog lover

Barbara writes: I don’t leave feedback. Nothing usually sparks enough interest with me. I usually make my snide comments to myself and go on about my merry web-surfing way. I have to tell you though, I thoroughly enjoyed your article on "the Dog" Chapman. For a personal reason. I stumbled upon his show one night and have been hooked ever since. On one episode they were of course in Hawaii, and I mentioned to my daughter that Justin has a "northside" accent. I grew up on the "Northside" of Denver. It is getting better,. but during my years growing up there, it was pretty gang infested with a high crime rate. My daughter laughed at me and said I was wrong. Several episodes later, it happened to show them in Denver, in the "northSide" and turns out they are actually from there. So I was right (A point I made to my daughter). It makes me so proud to know that someone who lived there amounted to something. Most of my friends are now addicts and living in poverty. My mom once said nothing good ever comes from this neighborhood, but he is the exception to that rule. I love that he is hard but still has a heart. On one episode in particular, he "arrested" the baby brother (quintana) of one of my oldest friends. I laughed that his dumbass got caught on television, but it was sobering to know that quite possibly (knowing the family and their situation) that was the most kindness he had ever been shown. Thanks for the article, it was very well written and showed Dog in a great light, even though he radiates that on his own!

Noel responds: It really is Dog’s heart that elevates the show above most reality series. It’s a nice counter to Cheaters, which is still my guiltiest pleasure. Thanks for sharing your inside take on the Chapman’s roots. It’s too bad that Justin won’t be rolling with Dog next season. Guess he couldn’t kick the cigarettes.

 

Gonzo journalism

Alfredo writes: If you absolutely loved "Fear and Loathing…", and you haven’t ever heard of "Where the Buffalo Roam"… then you absolutely MUST!!! I have heard a few people talking about "Fear…" who have no clue about "…Buffalo…" and it kinda breaks my heart at some level. So… PLEASE… for my mental sake… if you haven’t seen BOTH movies and you honestly enjoyed the one that you did see… please do so as soon as possible. Thank you very much….

Noel responds: Excellent suggestion, but in fact, I actually DID review Where the Buffalo Roam. My being such a fan of Depp’s characterization probably colored my take on Bill Murray’s. Although I do think the flick’s more accessible than Terry Gilliam’s typically (and ingeniously) daft direction.

 

Brawlin’ Battlestars

Charles writes: I must say, good article. With that said, I much prefer the original to the remake. I personally feel that the acting in the remake was sub par. I tried watching the pilot for the remake and barely got through the first of the 2 and decided to delete the rest off my DVR. It’s hard to believe Starbuck and Boomer as women, nothing against women, but the characters are just don’t seem right being played that way. Additionally, going from laser blasts to missle warheads, doesn’t seem like a progression, or perhaps I missed something in the sub standard acting and story. I’ve personally had conversations with Richard Hatch and would welcome his rendition to the Galactica saga. His would at least tie into the oringal story line alot better, and appeal to those that are, in alot of ways, hung up on the original idea such is I. My hopes are that the powers that be would allow other ideas to come forth and give them a shot at making it happen. Of course it may seem a bit out of place for another BSG film, but hey, who cares.

Noel responds: I too had words with Hatch once. He called me a metrosexual, but I probably had it coming for ribbing him about his horndog antics on the sinfully short-lived reality series "Star Dates." Seriously, though, I was as onboard with his vision as anyone. I’m pretty sure I even signed an online petition. How’s that for geek cred?

Daniel writes: Frack you for not mentioning this. There was a "FUCK OFF!" during the pilot. It is written on the ground as Cylons attack Caprica. Try checking out about 26:50-26:55 of the pilot on the DVD. There is a shot of Caprica from above and it shows 4 cylon raiders swooping dow — off to the center right — "Fuck off" is visible in the lights.

Noel responds: That’s too funny. Thanks for the education!

Andrew writes: I very rarely comment on TV shows. Simply, because, I want to be taken somewhere else when I sit down to watch a show like BG. But in this case I am going to say something, small…. I don’t understand why Boomer and Starbuck had sex change operations. Seems to me that they were getting all the fun they could handle while they were guys. As Dolls, the characters seems incongruent. The rest of the show very good. I look forward to watching more. Thanks for listening…

Warren writes: I was not that much of a fan of the original series (it took ’em ten years to come up with this so-so bandwagon jumper following Star Trek?) and i really like the psychological complexities of the new series. And making some characters women just makes sense.

Noel responds: Star Trek? No slight against Mr. Roddenberry, but I think they were more so cribbing George Lucas’ playbook. I understand the new series has been picked up for a full 26-episode run. Seems we’re not alone!

Thomas writes: At the time of the first premier of Galactica, I remember listening to an anlaysis (on an A.M. talk radio show) from official soviet media. Apparently the soviets thought Battlestar Gallactica was official (American) government prooganda, and this re-reading of their analysis came to the conclusion that the series was a call-to-arms to increase military opposition to the russkies. It was very paranoid. It seemed to imply that the russkies thought American television was an official "information arm" of the United States government, and in an apparent projection of their own controlled society took Battlestar Glactica to be an official parable which the American people were enticed to observe and follow. I think I saw that there was to be a documentary on (I believe) the Science Fiction Channel about the soviet take on B.G. Was there one? How might one attain a copy of it? Also, are there any sources of unadulterated Russian and Eastern Block science fiction films circa 1945 to 1970 on DVD? I have really wanted to see alternatives to yesterday’s western vision of things speculative and cosmic.

Noel responds: Fascinating! Sort of a space-based Red Dawn? That’s a documentary I’d surely like to eyeball. I’ll post your note and perhaps one of my fellow CineSchlockers will have the skinny. As for pinko sci-fi, that’s beyond my field of expertise.

 

Gore Girls Gone Wild

Fred writes: I enjoy the mailouts! I love the horror-gore-schlock genres and am always ready for your great reviews and finds. Can you tell me if the "classic" "Gore Gore Girls" film from the 70s or 80s is available in any format? This was one of the goriest, schlockiest bombs I’ve seen. There were some great mutilations strewn with off-the-cuff humor that helped make this a laugh riot.

Noel responds: Surely you’re speaking of the great gore classick by Herschell Gordon Lewis. Yes, indeed, it’s available on DVD from Something Weird Video complete with audio commentary by the Godfather of Gore himself! I have reviews of all his films, an exclusive interview and even a visit to the set of Blood Feast 2. Check ’em out!

 

Sara’s a good girl

Tigger writes: About your Species 3 review. I think you mean "Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee." No biggie and I wouldn’t expect you to change it. Just thought you should know. Straight from the Sara Lee website FAQ:

Q: What is the slogan for Sara Lee Bakery?

A: Nobody Doesn’t Like Sara Lee!
B: Nobody Does It Like Sara Lee!

The correct answer is ‘A’

Noel responds: I’ll be darn. I guess we filthy minded folk have heard it the wrong way all these years! I’ll have to share your letter with the class. Who says you can’t LEARN something during a swing by CineSchlock-O-Rama!?!