B-auteur Brian Yunza knows his zombies. He cut his teeth on Re-Animator in 1985 as producer and from there he directed staggering corpses in Bride of Re-Animator. So, it only made sense that when Trimark was looking for someone to wrangle zombies in Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993, 97 minutes) they turned to a gore-slinging expert like Yunza. He takes this stuff SERIOUSLY, folks, as well he should. It’s a daunting task making, as he calls it, "a second sequel of an alternative sequel to a horror classic." Of course he’s talking about George Romero‘s Night of the Living Dead (1968) and Dan O’Bannon‘s Return of the Living Dead (1985) that each had their own particular zombie lore, which Yunza and writer John Penney somehow had to remain true to while also attempting to create something fresh and new. And as the film clearly shows, they were supremely successful in their efforts.
The movie: Unlike previous movies, where our heros were the living who must fend off the lurching attacks of groaning ghouls, here the tables are turned a bit as we follow a particularly bad evening for Curt and Julie — who are, as Bill Shakespeare would have called them, "star-crossed lovers" and utterly doomed. Julie (Mindy Clarke) coaxes Curt (Trevor Edmond) into sneaking into the super-secret military lab where his pop works (Kent McCord). Their snooping reveals that the government is still noodling with ways to switch zombies on and off in hopes of using them as disposable weapons of mass gnawing. Curt is horrified, while Julie thinks it’s wicked cool. After some celebratory diddling back at his place, and a fight with his father, Curt decides hot chicks in daisy dukes beat army life and speeds away from home with Julie on the back of his motorcycle. But its when she gets handsy that they both go careening over the handlebars in a horrible crash. In desperation, Curt lugs Julie’s broken body back to the base and pops open one of those pickled zombies in a barrel and lets the escaping Trioxin gas work its magic. That’s where the REAL fun begins. At its little black heart, this is the tender love story of a undead hottie who gets HEAVY into body piercing to quell the hunger for her boyfriend’s brains. Beautiful, sniff, just beautiful. CineSchlockers interested in perusing more of Ms. Clarke’s astonishing body of work should check out Return to Two Moon Junction.
Notables: Two breasts. 21 corpses. Security card licking. Leg burning. Decapitation. Involuntary pole vaulting. Brain drilling. Puking. Multiple shotgun blasts to various limbs. Finger munching. Diddling. Pierced stunt nipples. Brain gobbling.
Quotables: Julie must not have seen the bright light, "God, Curt! That was incredible! Let’s do it again!" Santos (Mike Moroff) disapproves of women who bite without permission, "She gave you something, ese. She gave you something bad — gangrene, rabies? Maybe the bitch has rabies?!" Curt is in complete denial, "We’re gonna move to Seattle. We’re gonna get a nice place on the water. I’m gonna get a gig in a band and you can hang out all night and party and watch me play."
Time codes: Trioxin experiment achieves mixed results (8:40). A truly horrendous motorcycle crash (21:50). Cosmo has never heard of THIS eating disorder (35:20). Julie’s first piercing (39:40). Playboy’s Miss November 1988 Pia Reyes (47:03). Technically, this is necrophilia (1:03:20). Julie struts her latest look (1:04:45).