Also see The Films of Jack Hill
Hill’s debut has the disarming charm of "Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood" and the ferocious family values of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Big, burly Teddy bear Bruno (Lon Chaney Jr.) plays loving caretaker to a bizarro trio of "children" who ain’t. They’re all grow’d up on the outside, but their diseased brainpans are on a downward skid toward kindergarten. Like most kiddos, they’re mischievous and it’s NEVER good when Bruno wanders off on errands. That’s when Virginia (Jill Banner) tippy-toes around their shabby estate playing "spider" by netting and hacking unsuspecting prey to death. Like a poor, now ear-less, fella just looking to deliver a telegram. Her tattle-tale sis Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn) just loves such antics as she can’t wait to fill Bruno in on all the gory details. Kids will be kids, but Bruno’s got bigger problems. Greed-minded members of the Howes clan have arrived with a lawyer in tow to see what sort of loot they can squeeze out of the remaining estate. Even if that means kicking Bruno and his baby-talkin’ pals to the street. Emily and Peter Howe (Carol Ohmart and Quinn Redeker) are politely uncomfortable with their problemed kin, especially Ralph (Sid Haig), the girl’s lanky, bald, slobbering idiot bubba who does his darndest to be a good host by providing a special meal of chicken-fried rabbit. Only it’s no bunny! That’s far from the weirdest twist during the night’s events in this cobwebbed creephouse replete with hidden passages and secrets best kept. Tragically, Mr. Chaney was never able to witness his heart-wrenching performance due to legal entanglements that kept this film off the screen until after his death. CineSchlockers are most certainly familiar with his swan song — Dracula vs. Frankenstein.
Notables: No breasts. 11 corpses. Ear tumbles. Gratuitous Hitler moustache. Cat munching. Peeping. Foot chase in lingerie. Spooky owl.
Quotables: Bruno scolds a naughty Elizabeth, "How many times have I told you it’s not nice to hate!" Peter razzes his panicked sis, "Well, let’s not have a complete double-duck fit!"
Time codes: Ralph makes a unique first impression (12:02). Watch for film crew reflected in car window (20:14). Romance blossoms when horror fans meet (37:50). Ms. Ohmart slips into something more comfortable (45:38). Ralph does what comes naturally (1:01:10).