Tag: 0.5 of 5 stars

Cube 2: Hypercube

There’s simply no other community beyond CineSchlockers who are MORE enthusiastic about sequels of every stripe, but this obscenely ponderous, CGI shanghai’d disappointment could scarcely […]

Cooking with Porn Stars for the Holidays

Spastic cable-access host Colin Malone‘s half-baked cooking show returns with even less on its plate. Where vodka fueled the original’s antics, this Christmas edition, denoted […]

Python II

Maybe the original wasn’t THAT bad after all. ANOTHER cargo plane carrying ANOTHER government-engineered, 85-foot, 12-ton bellycrawler tumbles from the sky. This time felled by […]

Mari-Cookie and The Killer Tarantula

Proof that even legends make horrible, horrible movies. Jesus Franco and Lina Romay return for, um, OK, I’ll admit it. I don’t know what the […]

Escape From Afghanistan

Here’s why Roger Corman‘s the King of Bs! Who else would pluck a ponderous Russian-language flick (Peshavar Waltz a.k.a. Peshavarskij Valchik) about a grisly prison […]

Habit

Lauded indie filmmaker Larry Fessenden hacked 40 minutes out of his anti-genre vampire picture, Habit (1997, 112 minutes), but he shoulda kept right on cutting. […]

Possession

When most people saw Possession (1981, 123 minutes) it was 45 minutes shorter than writer/director Andrzej Zulawski‘s cut. Either way it’s certain I’d still be […]