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Best of Schlock 2005

This could be known as The Year of the Reissue or The Year Hollywood Made Good. Three flicks on my Top 10 were previously available on lesser DVDs — two even ranked on past Best of Schlock lists.

The pull between old and new was also revealed in reader voting for the CineSchlockers’ Choice award honoring 2005’s best genre title. All told, The Devil’s Rejects was edged out by Fox’s two-disc dive into a veritable plasma pool of bonus features — earning The Fly: Collector’s Edition this year’s CineSchlockers’ Choice mantle!!!

Congrats to all who made this long-awaited ode a reality! It’s certainly on MY list along with nine other must-haves. Here they are in very particular order:

High Tension

1. High Tension

Exploiteers have long traded in cheeky warnings or breathless disclaimers pleading with audiences to beware before laying peepers on the flickering horrors ahead. Insta-auteurs Alex Aja and Greg Levasseur could’ve done the same for High Tension — and actually meant it. This flick still has yours truly rattled! Huzzah to Lions Gate for laying aside its pride by offering an Unrated alternative to their dubbed disaster, plus enough behind-the-scenes and commentary time with Alex and Geg to make Hills Have Eyes devotees like yours truly anxious to see the Craven classick through their, um, eyes.

2. The Devil’s Rejects

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBIRD!!! Rob Zombie’s murderous motley crew certainly did fly in his impressive sophomore effort that feels less like a House of 1000 Corpses sequel and more like Peckinpah’s The Wild Bunch as interpreted by Charlie Manson. This highway to hell alongside three midnight riders on the lam, otherwise known as The Devil’s Rejects, also packed on the extra goodies.

3. The Fly

Fans fussed. Even fumed. Now, there’s real reason to buzz. After five long years, Fox finally revisited their double-feature release of The Fly with a double-disc reissue so irresistible that many a CineSchlocker nearly snapped an arm rifling through oodles of extras — including the infamous monkey-cat scene!!! That’s reason alone to earn this year’s CineSchlockers’ Choice award.

4. Inside Deep Throat

Documentarians Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato joyfully (and brilliantly) chronicle the Triple-X cultural climax which pushed porn from 42nd Street to Main Street and, more critical to schlockmeisters, abruptly ended the peek ‘n’ tease era of the Dave Friedmans and Doris Wishmans of the sinema scene. The disc’s also packing enough below the digital belt to make Linda Lovelace nervous.

5. Land of the Dead

Resident Evil. 28 Days Later. A certain remake. We zombiphiles tolerated ’em. OK, even embraced them. But for all their glitter and grue they lacked The Master’s touch. That Romero twinkle. No more! Finally, finally — FINALLY! — 20 years after Day of the Dead, George made his triumphant return with Land of the Dead and an extra ooey-gooey DVD that hardly disappoints! But my favorite extra? When Shaun met George. The priceless pilgrimage of Shaun of the Dead‘s Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg to geek out on set with their hero.

6. Predator 2

Two years ago, CineSchlock-O-Rama’s Most Wanted celebrated the capture of a bare-bones release after an exhausting 62-week critter hunt. This substantial special-edition retrofit revisits that disc’s transfer, adds a DTS mix, two commentaries and a second disc of goodies that — for good or ill — perhaps only a CineSchlocker would love. Not the least of which being a breathless babblefest by crazy-talk king Gary Busey.

7. Seed of Chucky

Jennifer Tilly’s hilariously self-deprecating and downright brave return as both herself and Chucky’s pint-sized paramour makes this a fave. Not to mention that 86-minutes of Ms. Tilly’s heaving cleavage can be quite dizzying, especially when compounded by gobs of gore, gut guffaws and the extras to match. Don’t miss Jennifer’s on-set diary.

8. Skinned Deep

First-time director Gabe Bartalos crafts a surrealist slasher that’s both unique and deceptively familiar. The beyond-bizarro terror tale is populated by a plate-flinging midget, a lovelorn mutant, a geriatric biker gang and a bunch of other freakified stuff CineSchlockers won’t believe. Even the final credits are a scream!

9. Triple B Collection Vol. 2

Andy and Arlene rebooted their long-stalled, 12-flick Andy Sidaris Collection with a pair of 3-flick bundles of jigglin’ joy. Both bodacious sets are packed with the same explosive extras we’ve come to expect from Andy — at a bargain 3-for-$20 price point! The nod goes to Volume 2 featuring The Dallas Connection because yours truly opines from Big D (and fears the randy wrath of Julie "Black Widow" Strain).

10. Death Race 2000

It’s also the year the King of Bs met the King of Cheese. Roger Corman teamed with Mickey Mouse for the first several special edition revamps. What better starting line than David Caradine and Sly Stallone Cannonball Run-ing from coast to coast mowing down pedestrians on a point system? (With geriatrics and infants being the most valuable!) Warms my little black heart to hear Roger and Mary Woronov get all wistful about the good ol’ days on their commentary. Hail to the king!