Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back

24: Season 1Lana Clarkson returns to once again pop her top and endure some light bondage on a rack in this non-sequel sequel. This time she’s Athelia — a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT revolutionary vixen — who falls on hard times when her father’s rule is hijacked by the evil King Ankaris (Alejandro Bracho) and his snotty bitch-in-training daughter (14-year-old Cecilia Tijerina).

After Athelia refuses to hand over her magical scepter of power, she’s imprisoned, but easily Houdinis it outta there. A routine she inevitably repeats throughout this tale. Athelia then manages to fit in among the peasants by impressing them with her topless mud rasslin’ skills, so much so, that she’s able to rally a babe militia to put the hurt on the hopelessly inept forces of Hofrax (Roger Cudney) who’s out to rain on her rebellion. His seething hatred of rebels is only matched by his disdain for women, which is infinitely amplified when Athelia has him stripped, bound and sent back to Ankaris in utter humiliation. But revenge is sweet when, after a botched rebel raid on the castle, he’s finally able to dangle HER delicates over a bed of rusty spikes in a half-hearted attempt to learn her scepter’s secret. Yet to Hofrax, and most CineSchlockers, the REAL fun is in watching Ms. Clarkson squirm.

Six breasts. 74 corpses. Catfighting. Creepy tarantulas. Gratuitous mute chick. Athelia is mighty certain of her bedroom prowess, "Everyone has something that can destroy them. One night with ME would be the end of you!"