Uncle Sam

In battle, friendly fire is always a tragedy, isn’t it? But what if one such charbroiled chopper pilot happens to be a real son of a bitch? A wife beater, molester and cold-blooded killer? Gore gurus Bill Lustig and Larry Cohen‘s brilliantly blood-soaked meditation on the first Gulf War explores this notion with a Yankee […]

Ultimate Fights

FlixMix made A LOT of noise with their inaugural release Boogeymen: The Killer Compilation. Horror icons Clive Barker, Robert Englund and Gunnar Hansen were squired before wide-eyed fans to tout the disc’s praises at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors. Then print, radio and television campaigns boogeyed the frightful news all over the country. Now, it’s round […]

V: The Original Miniseries

Our unleashing of the horrific power of the atomic bomb, joined with our collective jitters that the Commies were around every corner, had dang near everything to do with the crush of alien invader flicks that zapped across screens during the 1950s. Immortal ray-gun classics like The Day the Earth Stood Still, Earth vs. the Flying […]

Watermelon’s Baked & Baking

Turns out there’s more to marijuana cuisine than brownies. Who knew? Why, High Times covergirl/comic/nudist/gingersnap trafficker Watermelon that’s WHO! And she’s slinked herself into a ravishing red ensemble just to ensure we’re all paying attention. Mighty appreciated! Hardly necessary. Her vaudeville-friendly cooking show is sublimely delish with a wry wit that favors kitsch over time-honored […]

V: The Final Battle

Kenneth Johnson‘s miniseries V was a boffo May Sweeps success for NBC back in ’83. His story of alien invaders was a smartly veiled allegory for the unspeakable tyranny of the Nazi regime and the corrupting influence of power. But when the network clamoured for a longer sequel on a tighter budget and timetable, well, […]

The Wasp Woman

Janice Starlin is the aging cover girl and president of a cosmetics company who illustrates the extent some gals will go for vanity. Susan Cabot plays Starlin who enlists the aid of a mad scientist who promises to make a miracle age-reversing salve out of insect squeezings. The actress wears glasses and bad makeup to […]

Urban Legends: Final Cut

Roman numerals used to be so hip. Somehow or another, they were supposed to make serial filmmaking seem more sophisticated. "You liked that? Well, here’s Part VIII." These days, sequels are still king, but the Roman Empire has fallen. The antiquated formula has been tossed out in favor of title twists. I Know What You […]

Wasabi

French humor is an inherently dicey proposition. [CineSchlockers are encouraged to insert their own snarky Jerry Lewis quip.] But shoot ’em up maestros Jean Reno and Luc Besson sucker-punch the national stereotype whilst successfully mining familiar territory for some wry yucks that stray easily into slapstick. Hubert (Reno) is of the Parisian "Dirty Harry" school […]

Unspeakable

Writer, director, producer Chad Ferrin is a student of exploitation cinema and it shows, as he takes a page directly from the masters: If you can’t make it good, then damn sure make it memorable. There’s so much disgustin’ stuff in Unspeakable (1999, 81 minutes) that not even a 48-hour holiday marathon of It’s A […]

Vulgar

Who knew there could BE such a thing as a BAD flick about a loveable CLOWN who gets, um, PROBED by rednecks!? Exploitation cinema has a rich history of rape/revenge pictures with the immortal I Spit On Your Grave being king daddy of ’em all. So, one would figure substituting a clown into this time-tested […]