Bumfights: Cause for Concern

Bumfights: Cause for ConcernThere’s reserved seating in the fiery caldrons of Hades for the purveyors of this video crime against humanity.

Then again, The Bum Hunter IS pretty goldang hilarious. Todd Richard Lewis LOOKS and SOUNDS like a certain exuberant crocodile rassler, but in a demented twist, sleeping vagrants are roused from their midnight stupor, bound, gagged and blinded by camera lights while "Steve Urban" proclaims "What a BEAUUU-TY this one is!!!"

Mostly, though, it’s just a bunch of blurry footage of young thugs swinging wildly at each other whilst trying to keep their britches from falling down. In fact, there ain’t a heckuvalot of bum fights at all. Bum STUNTS would be more accurate. Like cover-hobo Rufus who proudly bloodies himself for cash by slamming his head into walls, tumbling down embankments and unsuccessfully trying to rumble with a fellow street person — resulting in his drunken opponent merely falling over, yet somehow managing to snap an ankle.

Way, way down on his luck veteran Donnie is ushered into a tattoo parlor where he gets BUMFIGHT carved into his forehead in giant block letters before stepping out for oral gratification from a man-ho in fetching red lingerie. There’s also crackheads a-plenty, including paper-trained Bling Bling who does some unpleasant business on a city sidewalk as the soulless filmmakers titter like Rhesus monkeys.

No breasts (no matter how much Angela Taylor teases). Wriggling maggots. Mallard flinging. Multiple wangdoodles. Gratuitous urination. Excessive fish-eye lens footage. Self-inflicted tooth extraction with channel locks. Overheard during a screaming catfight, "F@#%ING BITCH!!! YOU F@#%ING RIPPED OFF MY CLOTHES!!!"