Reviews

Malibu Express

Also see The Films of Andy Sidaris
Also see Interview: Andy Sidaris

Malibu ExpressSometimes referred to as a gender-reversal remake of his Stacey (1973, named for Andy’s daughter). To Sidaris, it’s more of an "homage," but to CineSchlockers, it offers more than just a mere inkling of what would become the filmmakers flesh-friendly milieu. Darby Hinton stars as Cody Abilene, a chicken fried private eye who does more DIDDLING than actual detecting. Seductive Sybil Danning, after a rigorous sleepover interview, puts him on a convoluted case involving the uppity Chamberlain family, their scheming chauffer and a Russian plot to pilfer U.S. computer technology. All of which is a guaranteed head swimmer even after Cody’s climatic "Here’s how I figured this goldang thing out" monologue, which he issues before the entire champagne-clutching cast aboard his yacht, yep, the Malibu Express. Lots of broad comedy and most of it works. Especially the "drag" racing obsessed Buffington clan (featuring Busty O’Shea) and Abilene’s egregiously poor marksmanship with a laughably oversized hand cannon. That’s Barry Walsh doing the exceedingly appropriate toe tapper "Girl in the Centerfold."

Notables: 26 breasts. Five corpses. Gratuitous MALE shower scene. Cross dressing. Copious diddling. Helicopter vs. car chase. Gratuitous Clint Eastwood impression. Defensive flashing.

Quotables: Miss July 1982, Lynda Wiesmeier, is easy to please, "You really are horse s@#% at showing emotion, but I LIKE that in a man!" Miss January 1982, Kimberly McArthur, and 1984 Playmate of the Year, Barbara Edwards, greet Cody, "We understand you’re a private investigator — and we want to know if you’ll investigate our privates?!"

Time codes: Thankfully, the first FEMALE shower scene is a two-for-one special (12:40). Cody girl watches at leotard central (24:00). A cameo that just gets wackier with age — REGIS PHILBIN!!! (44:15). Andy’s army training film (56:15). Mr. Sidaris joins the picture (1:20:25).