Reviews

The Jackhammer Massacre

Jackhammer MassacreChainsaws. Drills. Nailguns. Blood Feast 2 grue slinger Joe Castro turns yet another power tool against its makers with this deliciously demented slasher that’s been cleverly churned through the druggie delirium of Requiem for a Dream.

Aaron Gaffey delivers a spectacular boogeyman-making turn as a happenin’ young suit who parties much too hardy, spirals into drug addiction and ends up struggling to keep a live-in gig as a warehouse night watchman. Forget Reefer Madness. Try contemplating the doomsday cocktail of PCP, Heroin and Meth Madness! Mix in a readily accessible jackhammer when a dealer gets unwisely pushy and things get like, heavy, man. Due to a predictably scissor-happy MPAA, the actual massacring is pretty pedestrian, but Mr. Gaffey’s haunted delusions are perfectly realized with homegrown visual effects that ruthlessly ratchet up a sense of wholesale depravity. Being a Castro flick, the gore oozes easily, but even the most seasoned CineSchlocker will be ill-prepared for Joe’s greatest gross-out scene yet as our jackhammerin’ junky tends to the MOTHER of all nauseatingly abscessed tract marks. What’s almost as shocking? That this gruesome gem was shot in just SIX DAYS! Though, as Joe and pals explain during their commentary, one of those clocked in at 22-HOURS which, coincidentally, is just about how long it took to film the dinner scene in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Four breasts. Nine corpses. Gratuitous crack whores. Homoerotic chest baring. Mainstreamed pornstars (Rob and Rachel Rotten). Hiney hammering. Gratuitous urination. Puking. Multiple hypodermic closeups. Power drill to the spine. Eye gouging. Sometimes it takes tough love: "How ’bout getting a goddam job and contributing something else to this relationship besides your d@#k!?!"