Reviews

Ultimate Fights

Ultimate FightsFlixMix made A LOT of noise with their inaugural release Boogeymen: The Killer Compilation. Horror icons Clive Barker, Robert Englund and Gunnar Hansen were squired before wide-eyed fans to tout the disc’s praises at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors. Then print, radio and television campaigns boogeyed the frightful news all over the country. Now, it’s round two and while the marketing push isn’t quite so fierce, Ultimate Fights (2001, 54 minutes) is anything but timid with more than 16 of the most bone-crushing fist, sword, gun and cat fights ever filmed.

The movie: As with Boogeymen, viewers can adjust the flow of info bombardment by layering in audio commentary, trivia factoids or, gulp, both while watching Russell Crowe convince the whole world he really is a Gladiator. There’s also no shortage of "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-YAH!" kung fu fighting with the likes of Jackie Chan and Jason Lee in Rumble in the Bronx, Legend of the Drunken Master and Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. Bullet ballet in The Killer and Scarface. But NO compilation of brawls would be complete without a nod to the hellacious two-man slugfest in They Live. Yes, CineSchlockers, Rowdy Roddy Piper made the cut!!! In fact, there’s quite a bit here for genre fans to lick their chops over. Most notably, two DELICIOUS easter eggs. The first, and most easily discovered, is a clip from Ilsa, Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks featuring two topless gals wailing a fella senseless. Now the second egg of video goodness is a bit more illusive. Persistence will produce a reel from Something Weird Video’s awe-inspiring Wraslin She Babes of the ’50s. These two ALMOST top Boogeymen’s fleshy egg from Jack Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman.

Notables: No breasts. 71 corpses. Pool cue to the back. Arm amputation. Exploding blood zit. Sword play. Slow mo. Fast mo. Poison dart. Multiple gun battles. Head butting. Cranium clobbering. Catfighting. Spitting. Battle axe to the foot. Knife fight. Tazer zapping. Gratuitous Vietnam flashback. Racking. One dead tiger.

Quotables: Diamond is a supremely annoyed stripper who ain’t taking it no more, "It’s bitches like you who make it hard for women like me!" Al Pacino ain’t going out like a chump, "Say ‘Hello’ to my lil friend!" And perhaps the best ad-libbed line of all time, "I have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I’m all outta bubble gum!"

Time codes: Vampire slayer Blade disposes of an unsightly blemish (7:42). Jackie gets the royal hot foot (24:12). Son O’ Bruce Lee clobbers deadly sheets of ice (36:12). Roddy gets, um, rowdy (50:12).

Final thought: An even harder swing at true interactivity than its predecessor with ferocious clips and generous layers of entertaining extras.