Reviews

Carnosaur 3: Primal Species

Also see Tale of the Teeth

Carnosaur 3Terrorists raid a government convoy in search of fancy boom-boom sticks, so naturally, they’re not expecting Barney and Friends. By now, the original vision has truly devolved to its basic parts: Raptors and Human Combo Meals. Here yet ANOTHER squad of military know-it-alls scour waterfront warehouses in search of the scaly critters with big rubber teeth who scattered the limbs of those poor terrorists all over. What probably BEST illustrates the extent of the give-up factor involved here is that Rick Dean returns as a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT wise-cracking gun monkey, as everyone knows that OTHER wise-cracking gun monkey already got T-Rex’d in Part 2. Painful stuff.

Notables: No breasts. 37 corpses. Gratuitous urination. Multiple exploding jeeps. Slow mo. Heads, arms and legs tumble. Note passing. Fluttering pigeons. Gratuitous slide show.

Quotables: Grizzled colonel doesn’t cotton to long hairs, "You’re not riding in MY jeep with that haircut, son!" This cop isn’t from the P.C. police, "Throw down your hardware and surrender or else we’re gonna send you back to Tay-ran in Glad bags!" Befuddled commando snaps when scientist demands the beasts be captured alive, "Maybe we should get a whole bunch of pillows and pummel them into submission!"

Time codes: First use of the word "Carnosaurs" throughout the whole series (27:05). Army vs. Marines arm rasslin’ match (35:20).