Reviews

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

Also see After TCM: Cannibal see, Cannibal do

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next GenerationSolely noteworthy for before-they-were stars performances by two-time Oscar nominee Renee Zellweger and nekkid bongo enthusiast Matthew McConaughey.

She’s a four-eyed prom refugee who wanders down the road to hell.

Wait … now even I’M repeating myself! Let’s see, what’s new?

Well, Leatherface may be at his most terrifying only because he’s somehow transmutated into Mrs. Doubtfire. No, really, and there’s a disc of your choice in the Gunnysack O’ Goodies for anyone who can explain that pig-nipple’d Frenchman. Tangentially, perhaps only the most eagle-eyed CineSchlockers will grasp the flick’s "Twilight Zone" ending that features cameos by Marilyn Burns, Paul Partain and John Dugan.

Noteables: Two breasts (A franchise first!) 11 corpses. Fan-friendly "door" reference. Gratuitous blonde joke. Hair sniffing. Quotation spewing redneck. Gratuitous urination. Criminal abuse of classic car (’60s model Lincoln Continental with suicide doors!) Head crushing. Unsanctioned use of cattle prod.

Quotable: Jenny’s had enough (and so have we): "If you’re gonna kill me, then DO IT! I’m not going to put up with any more of your crap!!!"