Reviews

Two Thousand Maniacs!

Also seeĀ H.G. Lewis Goreography

Two Thousand Manicas!With Blood Feast a box office bonanza, Herschell Gordon Lewis and David Friedman wondered to themselves, “Hey, what if we actually made a GOOD one?!” And they did. Easily my favorite of the gore pictures. It’s a musical. It’s a comedy. It’s just brilliant. The sleepy Southern town of Pleasant Valley lures two carloads of Yankees off the main highway and into a world of horror. It’s a deceptively serene city, especially given its kiddos entertain themselves by making hangman’s nooses and worse. Mayor Buckman (Jeffrey Allen) encourages, er, forces the strangers to be the guests of honor for the town’s centennial celebration. Then the REAL arm twisting begins. Among the six ill-fated Yankees are Feast’s Connie Mason and William Kerwin. Those familiar with the Broadway musical Brigadoon will readily grasp the filmmakers’ inspiration. Admirers of Betsy (Linda Cochran), the love ’em and kill ’em Southern belle, can see much more of her in The Defilers, Friedman’s fleshy roughie.

Notables: No breasts. Four corpses. Cat strangling. Thumb tumbles. Non-union actor drawn and quartered. Multiple chase scenes. Slow-pitch softball. Arm roasted on spit.

Quotables: Herschell sings the theme song he wrote: “There’s a story you should know from a hundred years ago / And a hundred years we’ve waited now to tell / Now the Yankees come along and they’ll listen to this song / And they’ll quake in fear to hear this Rebel yell [Repeat] / CHORUS: Yeeeeehaw! Oh, the South’s gonna rise again! [Repeat] / Robert E. Lee broke his musket on his knee / And a thousand pieces shattered on the ground / But he looked up then and he gathered up his men / And from his lips there came an awful sound [Repeat] / CHORUS / Stonewall took a gun and he made the Yankees run / But he took a fatal bullet in the chest / As he fell down dead old Stonewall said, / ‘I’m givin’ you a dieing man’s request’ [Repeat] / CHORUS / Jeb Stewart spurred his horse and the Yankees run of course / But there wasn’t any powder in his gun / So he said to his boys, ‘Let’s make a lot of noise.’ / And we’ll charge again and make them Yankees run [Repeat] / CHORUS.”

Time codes: The flick takes a ferocious turn (25:10). What is this all about anyway? (38:10). The immortal Yankee in a Barrel scene (39:20). Harper rises from his watery grave (1:21:15).