How this sucker isn’t another Blade affirms sexism still exists among cinema heros. Are we really so unprepared for such take-charge chicks? The uber-delish Kate Beckinsale is a vampiric "death dealer" in the same babeilicious pantheon as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider minus the costume changes, exotic locales and inflated bustline. She two-fists hand cannons in […]

William Shatner’s Spplat Attack

Wanna see an 80-minute "documentary" about a Star Trek-themed paintball match? No!? Are you sure? Captain Kirk’s in it! And there’s paintball. That’s cool, right? No, of course not. There’s little doubt the 1,500 sum odd Trekkies who converged on Challenge Park Xtreme near Chicago to bean Bill Shatner had themselves a grand time, but […]

The Underground Comedy Movie

Like the stubborn occupant of some hopelessly clogged commode, this putrid pile of gross-out comedy just won’t flush without a fight. Bleary-eyed CineSchlockers have likely seen late-night ads squawking about its offensive (a.k.a. hi-larious) content. What they fail to mention is this circa 1996 Kentucky Fried knockoff is about as FRESH as it is funny: […]

William S. Burroughs: Commissioner of Sewers

CineSchlockers intrigued by Wild Bill’s readings on Criterion’s exquisite ode to Naked Lunch might consider picking up this odd compendium of spoken-word performances, experimental films and interview footage for another tantalizing glimpse at the Godfather of the Beats. Sequences of particular note are "Words of Advice to Young People," "The 10 Commandments Updated" and Gus […]

Vincent Price: The Sinister Image

Calling someone a "legend" has been overused to the point of becoming dern near meaningless. Except in respect to the late, great Vincent Price who regally DEFINES the term. Journalist and lifelong-fan David Del Valle‘s interview with Mr. Price for "The Sinister Image" has been pulled from obscurity, thankfully, after nearly 15 years of never […]


Please see Schlockcast: The Devil’s Rejects

Willard (2003)

While miles shy of John Carpenter‘s transcendent remake of The Thing From Another World, this enthusiastic update of the 1971 goober-meets-critter buddy flick didn’t grossly disappoint anywhere except the box office. After a dismal first test screening, cuts were made to earn a more marketable PG-13 rating and the film’s forboding, languid pace was quickened. […]


A mondo plus about being an Anchor Bay Entertainment honcho is that B-connoisseur Bill Lustig can produce spiffy special editions for his own work in between heralding Italian masters. That’s not so good for Elite Entertainment, considering they were the previous distributors of his illustrious Maniac, Maniac Cop and Uncle Sam. Elite’s already impressive Maniac […]

Wild Things 2

Here’s a sequel for those yayhoos who invested themselves in the PLOT the first go around. Let’s see, that’s … one … two … THREE people. Five TOPS if ya throw in the writer and director. But mainly we’re talkin’ Denise Richards, Neve Campbell and Matt Dillon. The thespianic trio who somehow rationalized themselves into, […]