The Blair Witch Parodies

The Blair Witch Project exploded like a money-scented smoke bomb in Tinseltown — caused studio suits to spill their lattes — and mushroomed its $32,000 budget to more than $140 million at the box office. While on the big screen, the faux documentary scared the wits out of many a viewer. Made others queazy (either […]

The Films of Al Adamson

The late Al Adamson looms tall among the illustrious figures of the ’70s drive-in heydays. As the son of Hollywood’s Victor Adamson (a.k.a. Denver Dixon) and Delores Booth he was literally born into show business. But it wasn’t until his early 30s that Adamson began to make his mark as an independent filmmaker. During those […]

Brawlin’ Battlestars

1978: Battlestar Galactica 3 of 5 stars 2003: Battlestar Galactica 4 of 5 stars For yahrens, Battlestar fans who felt the series was cut much too short beseeched the Lords of Kobol for a day when their beloved intergalactic refugees would once again wander the airwaves. Chief among them was the original’s Richard Hatch who […]

The Films of Andy Sidaris

Also see Interview: Andy Sidaris If you’re gonna pick a hero, it’s best to do your research. And believe me, I’ve put in more than my fair share of time to truly appreciate the artistry of Andy Sidaris. The famed breast auteur is best known for spy-world actioners populated by death-dealing Playboy Playmates and square-jawed […]

Jim Varney: A Legacy of Laughter

Ernest is a guilty pleasure for lots of folks. The accident prone know-it-all first mushroomed into a bona fide pop culture phenom from a series of brilliantly manic commercials in the ’80s, which went on to spawn N-I-N-E feature comedies and the Emmy-winning Saturday morning TV series "Hey Vern! It’s Ernest!" (A personal fave of […]

Tale of the Teeth

Carnosaur 3.5 stars / 1993 Carnosaur 2 2 stars / 1994 Carnosaur 3 1 star / 1996 Advertising tag line Driven to extinction. Back for revenge. Extinction is a thing of the past. Terror will never be extinct. Ultimate method of extinction Gutted by bulldozer. Gutted by bulldozer and shoved down elevator shaft. Plastic explosives […]

H.G. Lewis Goreography

Herschell Gordon Lewis continues to defy convention. Today, he’s one of the most respected authorities on direct marketing and advertising, with more than 15 books in print. But few who seek the insight of the 70-something guru know of his illustrious career as a drive-in titan. A career that has thrilled and inspired each successive […]

Tale O’ Premenstrual Mayhem

Carrie Carrie White The Fury Gillian Bellaver The Rage Rachel Lang Total body count 76 (mostly by fire) Only one (by psychic TNT) 19 (mostly by fire) Duration of climatic hissy fit 3 mins, 20 secs 1 min, 40 secs 6 mins, 15 secs Kindly do-gooder killed for her trouble Carrie crushes gym coach with […]

The Films of Jack Hill

Jack Hill is something of an accidental exploiteer. Focused. Wry. Intelligent. Charming. Not at all the smarmy fella one would think of as the originator of the notorious women-in-prison genre. Or someone who’d be just as adept in writing and directing a black urban revenge picture as a rural stockcar-racing odyssey. As he tells it, […]

Critical Mass 2

The crush of schlocky goodness arriving at CineSchlock-O-Rama HQ has long since outpaced yours truly’s ability to trumpet it all, so here’s a scattershot means to highlight titles that particularly pique MY interest … Ousted "Cheaters" host and CineSchlocker idol Tommy Habeeb (a.k.a. Tommy Grand) appears poised for a stripper-slathered return to reality TV with […]